MY MEMORIES
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
life has been pretty confusing lately... i duno wad im thinking much less others...
e moment when i try to let go of things tt i have been pretty much holding on tightly, the pple involved will come back all again to disturb me... and there I go again... vicious cycle... wanting to let go, person come back to disturb me, me getting all confused again, waking up, letting go again... it just goes on and on... must i really just shout at e pple involved to get my point across plus beg for them to let me let go of it gracefully?! im like so torn between trying to give support and trying to get out of the messy situation... it's like extreme 2 sides...
left side: everyone who are impt to me (the holy mothers, cousin and his gf)
right side: the person who keeps coming back at the wrong time
right smack in the middle: my sis and mayb another friend and of cux thr's me...
it's like the pple on my left keeps scolding me yet i duno why still keep walking towards the right side... initially i tot it was a battle between the brain and the heart... but aft sat, im not too sure abt tis alr...
just b4 i got off the car sat, i tot it was pretty much a done deal... but then come sun suddenly i realised thr was this small little longing... tt's y i really duno... isit supposed to be like tt or isit just me? e only reason i didn't shout back is cux i haven really got to know my feelings... the pretty-much-a-done-deal feeling is like super strong but the small occasionally longing makes me wonder... okies... i really duno wad im typing here either so pple who happen to chance upon tis entry will b like scratching their heads... but nvm... tis is the whole pt...
i tink it's time tt i started some kind of electronic diary since i cannot stand the sitting down every night to write kinda things... but in any case, somehow i regret... if i did bring along my diary with me everyday since this whole crap started right frm the beginning, i somehow feel tt it might turn into some kind of best-selling storybook one day... bhb haas... it's like everything happened so fast till i really dun even catch it kind and i kinda forgotten the feelings tt i experienced in the very beginning when everything was still nice and happy.. so the storyline of e book will not b draggy def... haas...
no matter wad, even though thr r alot of things i cannot say here, i kinda feel MUCH better now even though i have been hoping my phone (as in hp not office phone) will miraculously ring and on the other line is either andy, diana, vanitha, lwj, my friend, etc to talk to me or tell me things... argh! sian! feel like stuffing myself with food...!! see... im an emotional eater! hais... give up hope...
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okies... talk abt freaky... rmb when i said i hoped tt my phone wld miraculously ring, it did not but instead it just shut off itself miraculously! argh! wonder isit god telling me tt i better give up e stupid tot of waiting for a certain someone to call me and tell me stuff...
``Your name ; 1:18 PM
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